is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I touched a dick in church today
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
soo... how was my night?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
