No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
