i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
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im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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