Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
