His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
