we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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