This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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