Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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