Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
