she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
they're like a gay fantastic four
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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