My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
