Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
