Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Pooping to opera.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize