So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
