I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize