glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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