On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
People with herpes should wear stickers.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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