Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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