i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize