his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
