Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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