Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
