Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
