She went from zero to smokin in five shots
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
