So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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