hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
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While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
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You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad