I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children