i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
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He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
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I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.