Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
