Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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