Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
