no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
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