Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
