i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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