Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
