i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
