well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
