I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
