you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
