So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
