just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You left your phone here
Wait...
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