I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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