I just made out with a guy for $7.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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