Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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