should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
