tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
