yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
