Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
