Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
