You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
NoShamevember. You game?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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