Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
