Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
