question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
