grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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