I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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