Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
