Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
