yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
