I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
