Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I must be too annoying 4 u.

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  (810): I must be too annoying 4 u. http://tfl.nu/bqrs
  Replies (7) Good night (944) Bad night (2445)
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  (510): View more from California

  just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?

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  (510): just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction? http://tfl.nu/bfa1
  Replies (16) Good night (872) Bad night (1870)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.

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  (479): Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits. http://tfl.nu/uo57
  Replies (13) Good night (614) Bad night (3073)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be

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  (847): So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be http://tfl.nu/8bju
  Replies (209) Good night (19933) Bad night (1062)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.

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  (817): She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up. http://tfl.nu/2rkk
  Replies (9) Good night (951) Bad night (3316)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"

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  (862): he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!" http://tfl.nu/rt63
  Replies (15) Good night (5202) Bad night (1466)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.

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  (650): We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag. http://tfl.nu/1x8m
  Replies (19) Good night (1422) Bad night (5259)
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  (949): View more from California

  Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.

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  (949): Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza. http://tfl.nu/9evg
  Replies (8) Good night (699) Bad night (436)
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  (646): View more from New York

  If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.

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  (646): If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more. http://tfl.nu/8b5s
  Replies (8) Good night (1079) Bad night (488)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine

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  (317): Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine http://tfl.nu/233e
  Replies (3) Good night (697) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (+47): View more from Norway

  You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me

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  (+47): You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me http://tfl.nu/d4vv
  Replies (5) Good night (1160) Bad night (323)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.

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  (410): Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win. http://tfl.nu/bzly
  Replies (9) Good night (1275) Bad night (313)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Fuck yeah GAYNESS

  (415): View more from California

  *explodes into glitter*

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  (415): Fuck yeah GAYNESS (415): *explodes into glitter* http://tfl.nu/o7gi
  Replies (3) Good night (970) Bad night (253)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me

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  (828): This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me http://tfl.nu/34nr
  Replies (3) Good night (400) Bad night (313)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus

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  (267): My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus http://tfl.nu/z4ro
  Replies (1) Good night (886) Bad night (248)

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