Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he shaved USA in his pubs
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.