Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
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We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle