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It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
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