So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
