I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.