Texts From Last Night

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  (469): View more from Texas

  just do it

  (1-469): View more from Texas

  fine only cuz shes asian

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  (469): just do it (1-469): fine only cuz shes asian http://tfl.nu/6iw9
  Replies (5) Good night (1343) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.

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  (407): Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007. http://tfl.nu/n4mi
  Replies (9) Good night (3168) Bad night (778)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.

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  (617): This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us. http://tfl.nu/j1fo
  Replies (11) Good night (2168) Bad night (827)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.

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  (850): when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move. http://tfl.nu/4rb4
  Replies (27) Good night (797) Bad night (3260)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me

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  (952): Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me http://tfl.nu/evhv
  Replies (29) Good night (5051) Bad night (1921)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.

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  (513): He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it. http://tfl.nu/a93z
  Replies (13) Good night (4660) Bad night (1086)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me

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  (913): the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me http://tfl.nu/ze1e
  Replies (17) Good night (4273) Bad night (1297)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.

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  (805): I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more. http://tfl.nu/p4p6
  Replies (5) Good night (3439) Bad night (1084)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"

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  (734): What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?" http://tfl.nu/tcpf
  Replies (26) Good night (3355) Bad night (1314)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock

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  (832): I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock http://tfl.nu/sqvr
  Replies (2) Good night (892) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.

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  (360): I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance. (1-360): It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot. http://tfl.nu/be8l
  Replies (3) Good night (1726) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.

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  (704): If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again. http://tfl.nu/0rol
  Replies (8) Good night (703) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.

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  (306): we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads. http://tfl.nu/m4cs
  Replies (1) Good night (987) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?

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  (720): Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night? http://tfl.nu/17tx
  Replies (0) Good night (353) Bad night (212)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.

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  (732): Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole. http://tfl.nu/eueb
  Replies (6) Good night (476) Bad night (314)

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