great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
